They find you.
You think you discovered the cats. Wrong. They detected a warm wallet and moved in.
⚠ DIGITAL INFESTATION IN PROGRESS
PARASITE
CATS
Cute enough to pet. Parasitic enough to never let go. They do not need nine lives — they just need one good host.
PARASITE PROTOCOL / 3 EASY STEPS
HOW THE
INFESTATION WORKS
They stick.
One tiny paw becomes eight. One cat becomes a swarm. Your screen is no longer yours.
They spread.
Scroll long enough and more appear. Click the button and things get significantly worse.
ONE HOST. TOO MANY CATS. ✦ ONE HOST. TOO MANY CATS. ✦ ONE HOST. TOO MANY CATS. ✦ ONE HOST. TOO MANY CATS. ✦
“You didn’t adopt the cat.
The cat adopted you as its host.”
The cat adopted you as its host.”
parasite_scan.exe
> scanning browser...
> checking for host compatibility...
> paws detected: 8
> cuteness level: CRITICAL
> removal attempt: FAILED
> status: PERMANENTLY ATTACHED_
> checking for host compatibility...
> paws detected: 8
> cuteness level: CRITICAL
> removal attempt: FAILED
> status: PERMANENTLY ATTACHED_
SPECIMEN ID
$PARACATS
FULL NAMEParasite Cats
SPECIEScat / parasite
HOST TYPEinternet
BEHAVIORclingy
FIELD NOTES
Nine lives.
One host.
Parasite Cats are small, pixelated and extremely persistent. Known symptoms include random paw prints, sudden screen infestations and an uncontrollable urge to post cats on the timeline.
WELCOME TO
THE INFESTATION.
Once attached, always attached.
FOLLOW @PARASITECATS ↗